We Waited 6 Years to Get Married

I remember the day I walked into Kara’s life. That’s right; I walked into her life; she was sitting down. The scene was W.D. Deli on Broadway Street in San Antonio. I had met Kara online through an email that she sent to the entire Alpha Lamba Delta (A.L.D.) Honor Society. She had met me when I reached out to her over Facebook. More on that in Our Story page.

So there she was, sitting at a table facing me. I had parked my car, and luckily it had been recently washed. I was on a lunch break from work. She was wearing yellow shorts and a black top. Beautiful, even more so than what her photos had communicated to me.

My first thoughts on seeing her were that this would be a nice treat, but she’s likely going to be out of my league. She was so beautiful, the President of A.L.D., she’s out of my league, I thought.

There she was, I got closer. I opened my arms to hug, but she held out her hand to shake my hand. Hey, you couldn’t blame me for trying!

We walked inside and began looking at the menu. That was the first and only time that I ate at W.D. Deli that I can remember. It was all a new experience for me.

She was looking at the menu and hopped because she couldn’t see over people. I thought that was the hottest thing. Her jump reminded me of a cheerleader. She turned to me and saw a big smile and was embarrassed (I only know this now, because she has told me so).

I was excited about this date. I was not counting on it, turning into a long-term relationship at the time, though I wanted that from the start. I just thought she belonged with a more athletic, better man.

Self-confidence was something we both were running low on. She was nervous and so was I. Neither of us knew that about each other at the time.

Once we ordered, I don’t even remember what type of sandwich it was; we went upstairs to find a table. Someone was sitting on the stairs and had their water cup on the fourth step. I remember that, but that is all I remember.

Kara and I found a secluded table upstairs, and as we began talking, I started talking about 1Password, an app that I believed changed my life. It would change your life too because I know your password is likely your dog and your birth year anyway; that was the subject I chose to go on about.

Kara later told me that she thought it was cute that I talked about different topics than most guys. I wasn’t into sports, just like her. And the topics I went on about were unusual. And I talked a lot. She liked that though she likely zoned out on most of it and just looked into my dreamy eyes.

Or that’s what I believe.

The date went well, and I wanted more, but she didn’t say much, and I was a little concerned about that. I was worried that I said too much and that the topic I chose to go on about bored her. I guess not. Here we are about to get married six years after that first date.

So why the wait?

Well, at the time she was a junior in college. I had already graduated. I knew the importance of finishing education and did not want to get in the way of her degree. Immediately upon meeting her, I wanted to marry her. I had already prepared myself to follow her to Austin should she attend UT’s Medical School. That was her original plan.

As time went on, though, she decided that medical school wasn’t for her. You could blame me for that, perhaps I was a distraction, or maybe I was the dose of reality. She didn’t want to go to medical school. She tried to find love. And since she didn’t believe she was seeing the right guys, she made herself busy pursuing the status of the white coat.

Sometimes we pursue something for status. We want others to be proud of us and admire us. But we must pursue careers for ourselves because we are genuinely interested in the subject.

If she ever did decide to pursue medical school, I would support her decision, but it has become clear to her that the time commitment and levels of stress required to pursue a medical degree aren’t something she desires.

As for me, my path has never been clear. Even from my early childhood, I always had a fascination with creating and discovering new things. At some points in my life, I wanted to be President of the United States. At others, I wanted to be a train engineer, a founder of a startup, an app developer, a movie producer, a CEO, a lawyer, and an artist.

As for children, we are both in agreement that someday we want them or one, but definitely not now. We are in no rush!

I am glad to have met Kara. We sometimes wish we had gotten married sooner, but I believe that it was good that we waited. With so much going on in our lives, it has given us time to let our careers and lives settle. We wanted to be stable before embarking on the next chapter of our lives. I believe we are more stable now than we were six years ago. We were trying to figure out a lot more about ourselves.

Every age presents a new opportunity for growth. Kara and I are nearing the end of our young twenties and approaching our early thirties. I will miss our twenties. We will never be this young again. She reminds me to enjoy the present and stop worrying so much about the future. I spent most of my young twenties worrying about my seventies. What a waste! She is so right.

I hope that when we get married, find our place to call home and grow used to coming home to each other that we begin to enjoy life. We studied hard in school. We tried to prepare and set goals. But, now it is time to enjoy our young lives; what is left of them. Savor these moments. Travel, once COVID-19 becomes a distant memory.

Laughter is essential; having fun, enjoying life. These are the lessons Kara has taught me. I was growing old, much too fast. Life is finite, and it is best lived in the moment. And it was with that realization that I stopped waiting for the perfect time to propose. Had I known COVID-19 was about to happen, I would have likely wanted to postpone again. But you cannot live that way. You’ve got to live in the now, regardless if WWIII starts. There will always be something in the way, but we make our lives the best we can with each other.

One Reply to “We Waited 6 Years to Get Married”

  1. Alice says:

    What a beautiful love story and I believe that you and Kara are a perfect match for each other just as the Scriptures states. “And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:22-23 KJV


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